Too Many Cooks
September 17, 1979
Written by Dennis Koenig
Directed by Charles S. Dubin
Guest Stars: John Randolph, Ed Begley, Jr.

A clumsy foot soldier (Ed Begley, Jr.) finds the quickest way to the crew's heart, boosting morale at the war weary 4077th by cooking gourmet delights. Only Colonel Potter, burdened with a personal crisis, is immune from the high spirits enveloping the hospital.

A Congressional aide (Lawrence Pressman) visits the 4077th on a supposedly routine fact-finding tour, but it's discovered that his motives are far deeper.

The arrival of a wounded Korean woman sparks a conflict at the 4077th: Hawkeye wants to heal her, but a steely ROK officer (Mako) is more anxious to question her about alleged guerilla activities.

Company clerk Radar O'Reilly (Gary Burghoff), on leave in Tokyo, is desperately needed back at the crisis-stricken 4077th, but his return is delayed by outside events. While casualties continue to pour in from the front, the 4077th's generator conks out, depriving the medical unit of all electrical power. But Klinger, filling in for the vacationing Radar, lacks the expertise and experience to wheel and deal for a new machine.

As company clerk Radar O'Reilly reluctantly prepares to depart the 4077th, the unit is still without electricity due to a broken generator, and the operating room continues to fill up with war wounded as night falls. The responsibility for procuring a new generator falls on Klinger, who lacks Radar's masterful knack of cutting through red tape in search of much-needed supplies.

Klinger, taking over as the 4077th's new clerk, wearies of complaints about his inefficiency, while B.J.'s homesickness is intensified by news of Radar's visit to his family.

A beautiful and ambitious young nurse (Alexandra Stoddart) who plans to become a doctor when she leaves the Army finds herself in a misunderstanding with Father Mulcahy. Meanwhile, the camp's water supply is depleted, and the rest of the 4077th is more concerned about where to find a running shower.

A South Korean Woman misinterprets Klinger's motives when he tries to aid her daughter financially. Meanwhild, Hawkeye wrestles with his conscience over a promise made to a dying soldier.

Charles Winchester returns to the 4077th after a trip to Tokyo with an uncharacteristic hangover and the uneasy feeling of a romantic entanglement. Meanwhile, the hospital struggles to find a cure for an outbreak of deadly hemorrhagic fever.

Hawkeye and B.J. lose their way while rushing urgently needed antibiotics to the 4077th, which is wracked with food poisoning. Wandering back to M*A*S*H, the pair are found by a peculiar North Korean soldier (Soon-Teck Oh).

A severely wounded soldier, rushed to the poorly equipped 4077th by chopper, will die or be permanently paralyzed if he doesn't receive major surgery in 20 minutes. Nearly all of the action in this innovative episode is compressed into the program's 25-minute running time.

Klinger discovers that his duties as company clerk include catering to the eccentric whims of the 4077th officers. Consequently, the unusual demands by Klinger's superiors leave little time to write a letter home to Toledo.

A brawl at Rosie's Bar puts Rosie (Eileen Saki) in the hospital, and the 4077th doctors are pressed into service as temporary saloonkeepers. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy is apprehensive that his long-pending promotion to captain will again be denied.

Friction arises between B.J. and Winchester when they're asked to write a report for a prestigious medical journal on how they saved a soldier's life with a daring operation. Meanwhile, Hot Lips receives an eventful visit from Scully (Joshua Bryant), her combat soldier beau.

A baby born to a Korean woman and an American GI is abandoned at the 4077th. Knowing that mixed-blood children are often mistreated in Korean society, the troop sets about the frustrating task of finding a new home for the infant.

Horrified by the gigantic size of his monthly bar tab at the officer's club, Hawkeye vows to give up booze for a week. Meanwhile, Winchester desperately tries to halt his sister's impending marriage to a man he considers unworthy of the Winchester heritage.

Colonel Potter turns crotchety when he catches the mumps, and his condition is worsened when another M*A*S*H member (Winchester) gets the same disease and has to move in with him. A temporary replacement surgeon (Edward Herrmann) is quickly brought into the 4077th and seems to be a gem in terms of both personality and ability.

Hawkeye is appointed temporary commander of the 4077th when Colonel Potter rushes off to Tokyo on a mysterious mission. While in command, Hawkeye's main problem is housing a large group of Korean refugees comprised mainly of rambunctious children who need medical care.

Tired of their constant complaints about the quality of recreational activities at the 4077th, Colonel Potter appoints Hawkeye and B.J. as the new morale officers. Winchester's morale has already reached a new peak. He's ecstatic about his operation on a wounded soldier (James Stephens) which saved the boy's leg, leaving only ]negligible side effects - the loss of use of his arm. However, the soldier was a concert pianist before the war, so Winchester obtains music written by Maurice Ravel for a pianist that had lost a hand in World War I.

Irritated that the 4077th is planning a "surprise" party for him, Hawkeye volunteers to go to the aid of a wounded surgeon at the front. An additional irritant to Hawkeye is the arrival of Dr. Borelli (Robert Alda), a wisecracking medical advisor with whom he habitually disagrees. (NOTE: Alda's brother Antony also appears in this episode as an ambulance driver).

Klinger redecorates his quarters, but the resultant ridicule he receives drives him to new heights in his efforts to get out of the Army. Meanwhile, the doctors are perplexed by the reaction of an Asian-American war hero (Clyde Kusatsu) when he's informed that he's being sent home because of his wounds, and Dr. Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus) is called in to assist.

The 4077th can't escape the Korean War, even in its dreams. Exhausted after two days without sleep, members of the 4077th steal away for cat naps and experience dreams that reveal their fears, yearnings and frustrations.

B.J. finds himself attracted to a famous war correspondent (Susan Saint James) who has fallen in love with him.

Angered by the way civilian doctors stateside are profiting from the war, Hawkeye presents the Army with a bill for his medical services. Meanwhile, Charles reluctantly demonstrates American medical practices to three Korean medics (Sab Shimono, Peter Kim, Jerry Fujikawa).

A no-nonsense Colonel (Pat Hingle) who is notorious as a hard nosed disciplinarian visits the 4077th during an outbreak of April Fools' Day pranksterism. Colonel Potter tries in vain to halt the mayhem before Colonel Daniel Webster Tucker arrives in camp.